Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – The Vacation

~ Meagan

I looked out the window of our hotel room. Warm coffee in my hands, I admired the sprawling ocean and the lush green tennis court. This was our first vacation as a married couple. Having spent most of my time admiring ocean views and cotton sheets from a computer screen, it felt like an achievement to get away.

“Shall we play a game of tennis today?” My husband giggled as he came up behind me, hand on the small of my back. We had gotten to the point where we could joke about my accident. I chuckled at him. I wheeled my way to the door where a hotel employee was there to assist us in getting down to the main floor.

“In another life, maybe,” I hummed as we left for the beach.

flashfic

This is a response to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, hosted by Priceless Joy. Photo graciously given by Dawn Miller.

134 words excluding title, and bottom response.

17 thoughts on “Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – The Vacation”

  1. Oh, I love this. I did wonder why she seems a little wistful even though she’s there, and why she admired cotton sheets from a computer screen. Once the accident and the wheelchair come into the picture, it makes total sense. Great job!

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  2. This is touching and thought-provoking. I really feel your characters. They seem to have taken more than just one big step in their relationship (marriage and noting her “accident” in a light tone). But I still want to whisk them away and tell them all about wheelchair tennis ^_^

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  4. This is wonderful! But it has such a sad ending. It’s sad but you made it not sad. You made the ending perfect under the circumstances. Thank you so much for participating and I hope you will continue. 🙂

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  5. I wasn’t expecting that! This is such an uplifting moment…they’re away and relaxing and seem so comfortable with their situation. I really enjoyed this piece.
    Ellespeth

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  7. I thought you set up the beginning nicely with the description of where you were, I saw it from the MC’s POV. It was a sweet relationship between the husband and wife. I thought it was kind of funny that the husband giggled, made me think of him like a school girl. The thing I would’ve liked to know more was the accident. It was a big turn in the story that you didn’t address again. And I feel underneath that it either caused some pain or animosity between the two of them that they moved passed.

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  8. Oh of course! You can’t lay everything out, especially with so few words. I just thought the accident was such an interesting detail, though small, that said so much about the couple. If you really wanted to strengthen the objective of the piece the accident would be the way to go. It’s still a very lovely feel good piece. 🙂

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