I don’t know if I’ve ever been at a place where I’ve felt ‘Just Right’. To me, the notion of just right correlates to my ability to be content. Unfortunately, contentment for me has been an ever elusive notion that I can’t seem to hold onto. I have spent most of my life jumping from not only place to place, but idea to idea. Maybe I should do this! Or this… or that? What should I choose? Someone close to me made a joke that I should have my own television show about how I change my life trajectory once a month. Ha. So this is how I’ve lived, for the past however many years. Jumping, not knowing, being anxious that I don’t know. Never settled, never at peace. I read an article a while ago that talked about how there is just as much courage in staying in one place, as there is in picking up and leaving everything behind. I like that. The courage to stay still. It’s my natural reaction to react with any stress/anxiety/major life change with a swift selling of everything and moving as far away as possible. I now know that it’s time for me to teach myself to stay still. Stay still! Breathe, know that your problems and your insecurities follow you over geography. Stay still! It’s a mantra that I have to repeat to myself over and over. I know now that I need to root myself down to a place, to a life, to myself. Just pick you silly girl!
So where am I now? I’ve found a complimentary half to my being. One who lifts me and supports me through all my crazy swings. I’ve dedicated time and effort into the one thing that tends to keep me sane, writing. (God bless the WordPress writing community, I’ve found a second home) I’ve found a job that I love and one where I’m a part of a family. I’ve taken the first steps in attempting to cultivate a calm mind and a happy spirit and most importantly, I’m trying to cultivate gratitude. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I’m incredibly blessed. Sometimes I feel myself falling into a sneaky spiral of self loathing and cynicism, but as for right now, I guess you could say things are ‘Just Right’.
This is a response to The Daily Post’s daily prompt, Hello, Goldilocks!